Sunday, October 7, 2007

Dirty dishes; even dirtier secrets.

I was doing the dishes one day this past summer and I realized that there are three types of people in the world.

The first, is the type of person who just doesn't bother to do the dishes at all.
The second type of person is the type of person who needs gloves to do the dishes.
The third type of person uses their bare hands to do the dishes.

My roommate T. is type number one. My other roommate C. is type two. And me? I'm type three.

So what the hell does anything have to do with the way that we do dishes?

Well for one, I've noticed that the way we deal with conflicts is completely analogous to the way that we do dishes.

T. absolutely hates conflict. She will avoid it at all costs (much like avoiding doing her dishes); she would rather just ignore something and move on to something else.
C. on the other hand, can only confront someone when she's got a little alcohol in her system. When C. is drunk, shit hits the fan. And that is the understatement of the year my friends. She can only face dirty business under the aegis of alcohol, otherwise she doesn't even want to touch conflict.
Me-- well lately I've realized how much I like face to face conflict resolution. Make me a little teary eyed, but hey, at least you're yelling at me and telling me what's bothering you right now, rather than making me guess. I've realized how important honesty is to me. Give me my dirty dishes now, so I can wash them and put them away. I just don't have the time to put on gloves, or let them just sit in the sink.

I'm not saying of course, that my method is best of all three. Its sure as hell hurtful and it's hard to deal with when people are yelling at me, and I'm more than 1000% positive that I've said some pretty hurtful stuff in the heat of my ruthless ravaging. HOWEVER, I've figured out it works for me and I've realized how strong it makes me.

I've also come to realize how different the three of us are. We're all high school friends (and in the case of T. middle school friends), and I really didn't feel this huge gap in high school, but lately I've been feeling it a lot more.

Oh tough love-- I don't know when I became such an advocate, but god it feels good to be bitch.