When I quit six months ago, I honestly believed that my heart had already been demolished—a product of the wrecking ball steadily tapping against it for the past year. Apparently, the demolition crew wasn’t finished.
I keep comparing SCKY to a boyfriend: the tears and the betrayal I felt, the sense of accomplishment and happiness, the incomprehensible bond between me and it.
So when I finally “broke up” with SCKY, I knew for sure that the healing process wasn’t going to be short. What I didn’t bargain for however, is how hard it would be because it wasn’t a “clean” break.
A “clean” break—where all contact between both parties is nonexistent is agonizingly painful in the beginning, but as time slowly passes the pain recedes and moving on seems like a viable option. It’s the healthy way to end a relationship—leaving those tantalizing hanging threads makes it that much easier to fall back into a relationship that’s ended (and for very valid and legitimate reasons).
My break up with SCKY wasn’t a clean break, because how do I completely sever ties with 25 beautiful kids overnight?
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1 comment:
I've noticed it seems easier for us men to sever ties after break ups. Maybe because we have too much pride and don't want our ex-girlfriend's to see how much pain they've caused us, or maybe it hurts us too much to see them ever again. It does seem like the most logical way to move on however. When you love someone so much, and you're with them for a long time, it's really hard to accept not being with them when you see their beautiful face on a regular basis. Anyways, I hope you find peace in your heart =) those non clean breaks take a toll.
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